Nose Candy (we don't like candy)

We leave San Diego and head North towards L.A. The drive went something like this: BMW, Audi, Porsche, Mercedes, Lexus, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, Mercedes, Porsche, Porsche, Lexus. We fit right in… I think the guys are sick of me screaming out names of cars. Whatever, I don’t care.

First stop Long Beach. Not too shabby, I don’t think we caught the full local scene though. We walked down one pier, I worked on my olie with my long board (I will get this before the end of the trip), Peanut wished he had a fishing pole, and Adam wished he had a long board. We head to Venice Beach….wow whata trip this place is. People of all different walks of life, free-styling rappers, dancers, a guy dressed as Tarzan harassing people, skaters everywhere, people tweaked on methamphetamine, whatever you need to float your boat. We leave here with the addition of two more long boards, one for Adam, and one for my sister.

We meet up with a buddy from UCONN in Santa Monica on the Promenade which is basically a street with stores and restaurants. He refers us to the best burger meal we’ve had thus far at a place called “Father’s Office”. We watch the some of the Celtics game while munching on sweet potato fries and these hand-prepared burgers. Boom Banging. We head to Hollywood Boulevard in Beverly Hills and do the tourist thing. We buy a $5 map of the stars on the Hollywood Blvd that we don’t open once. We spend the majority of the time looking for a sticker for the mini van, which is looking stylishly tacky at the moment. My sister said bring it back loaded, we’re working on it. We take pictures of the Kodiak Theatre, the Chinese Theatre, a couple stars in the boulevard, the Hollywood sign, etc. We meet up with an old friend from my hometown whose place we plan to crash at for the night. Then I get a call from a good friend of mine from my hometown who literally lives 2 blocks up the road and listen to some of his music that he and his band have been working on. Awesome stuff. So let me clarify this for everyone, there are 4 people from Wolcott, CT who traveled 2,000 + miles across the country to Hollywood, CA of different ages and friend groups who left to get away from the townies and now all live within 5 minutes walking distance from each other. That's unfortunate.

We get advice from the girls that people don’t start moving in L.A. until around 9AM. What the hell were they/we thinking?!?!?!?!?! We hung out in traffic for about an hour and a half before we finally hop on Route 1 North, the Pacific Coast Highway. We knew this would extend our trip to San Francisco but we really didn’t care, let me tell you, it was well worth it.

Our first of many stops was at Pepperdine University which was referred to me by a friend as one of the nicest campuses in the country. They weren’t kidding. Situated in the foothills of the Santa Monica Mountains directly across from the coast of the Pacific Ocean. Imagine watching the sunset from your pimpass dorm room every night. Ridiculous right? We were bitter and had to use the bathroom so we all took dumps inside the athletic facility and then Peanut and I took hummingbird baths in their sinks. Much better.

45 minutes later we meet Johnny Law. Or Peanut does anyway. HAHAHAHA.
“How fast were you going son?”
(Peanut chewing gum and wiping his clammy hands in his shorts) “73”.
“Actually I have you clocked at 83 in a 65”
“Oh”

So I bet everyone is wondering how much the ticket was right, we had wagers on it too, but I guess it’ll be a surprise waiting for him in his mailbox in about 2 weeks, so until then, fuck it. Oh by the way, Adam got it all on film.

If you have been religiously following this blog like we hope you have you might remember the last entry where Peanut and I were messing with Adam that he would have to fill up in L.A. and it would cost him like $10/gallon. That didn’t quite happen, Adam filled up on Sunset Blvd for $3.09. Not bad at all. Once we got into the heart of the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) it was Peanuts turn…$4.77/gallon. Hahahahahahahahaha.

Peanut always seems to be on peanut butter and fluff duty, or maybe Adam and I have just outsmarted this little leoperacon and wait until he’s sitting in back to ask for a sandwich. Whatever it is, luck was not on his side and today’s sandwich made me cry. We were driving on a road that was definitely the craziest road I have ever driven on. Switchback turns, mountain face on the right with rock slides and cliffs to the Pacific Ocean on the left. I had my hands at 9 and 3 and was focusing on maneuvering all 4,000lbs of the minivan around these turns, like it was a Porsche of coarse, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Peanut in the meanwhile was in the back struggling with a loaf of bread, a big jar of fluff, a big jar of peanut butter, and a knife. So he’s bitching in back, “Oh man can you relax a little on the turn, uh eh uh , (huff puff)”. Then we hear “awwwww man”. I adjust the mirror and I see the fluff half of one of our sandwiches stuck to the center of his chest and he is laughing hysterically. Adam and I start laughing which then turns into me crying, a bit dangerous for the driving conditions.

The PCH was spectacular and it worth a visit. I even heard Peanut say that he enjoyed it more than the Grand Canyon, that’s how epic it was. I can honestly say I was really excited to drive for the first time on this trip. We felt like we were in the movie Jurassic Park, without the dinosaurs, but with Zebras (yes we saw Zebras I have it on video), a squirrel that we hand fed and actually had doing tricks for us, and with elephant seals, equally as cool. They flop up on the shore and all bark at each other for messing up their comfy spots. We talked about maybe heading down there to slap one on the ass, but decided their teeth were too big and would probably end up either eating or adopting Peanut or Adam as their young.

We end the PCH by stopping at a In-n-Out Burger chain that Peanut has been raving about. I order "animal style" which means I get my burger smothered in carmelized onions and thousand island dressing or twice the hypertension, diabetes type II, hyperlipidemia, hypercholesterolemia, and liver cirrohsis. I hate my life. Adam and Peanut get "protein style" which means their burgers don't come with buns but instead wrapped in lettuce. We wash this crap down with liquid crap; milkshakes. Awesome.

We make it to San Fran to see part of the Sunset and stay at a Best Western downtown. What catches my eye is the sign in the lobby that says that staying at this hotel could cause cancer and birth defects. Sweet. I like em both. We ask the gay man behind the desk (starting to see a theme here) where we can go to grab a beer and he tells us to “be careful”. What the hell does that mean, well what that means is we would be like fresh cuts of meat in a butchers case if we walked into a gay bar, which are more prevalent than straight in the area we are in. We find our way to an Irish Pub, discuss how cities ruin the earth and how dirty they are, and then whatyaknow. Peanut and I have another therapeutic conversation with a middle-aged man at the bar who seemed a little down’n’out after being divorced by his wife and after “paying the bills while she went back to college” and having kids that don’t like him. He’s a nice guy and loves the road trip stories. We don’t buy him a beer, but what we do is give him the link to this blog. Rutrow.

Things we’ve learned:
1. People in California drive with their windows up, no matter how nice it is outside. Spoiled.
2. I guess license plates are optional in California.
3. Things such as mountains, trees, boobs, lips, and cocaine addictions are also bigger in California.
4. There are no Dunkin Donuts here.
5. Toe prints on the front windshield are from me and foot prints on the dash are from Peanut and Adam.
6. When we smell vanilla Adam is dipping. (can’t wait until those are done)
7. We realize the last time we saw a CT license plate was 14 days, 4500 miles, and 9 states ago.
8. Our country is fucking huge and we are really, really far from home. And we still have a day or two of driving further away. Damn.
9. Peanut has one of the craziest Ipod’s I’ve ever listened too. Emo rock that reminds me of high school, rap music that a hard hitting gangster would be listening too with the windows quarter down and a low brim hat, country (I despise him for this), and then songs like “Barbie Girl” which he knows all the words to and actually acts out in the car, or Jennifer Lopez’s “Waiting for Tonight” which again he sings or practically knows the moves from the music video.
10. Peanut says his farts make him hungry, they make me gag and drop the windows as if the smell were a liquid and I was drowning in it, and they make Adam look up from texting on his Blackberry.
10. Adam and Peanut argue about who is going to be the bigger spoon when they share a bed (as I type actually)

Tomorrow we are going to wake up early, by the way we drove from 8:30am-8:30pm today which makes this at least the 4th time we‘ve been in the car for this long; catch the trolley down the shore and hopefully hop on a fairy that’ll take us around the bay. Then to the Redwood National Forest. We’ll catch up in a couple days. Peace, love, and harmony.