Super Silver Purple Haze

Let me bring you back to Arizona,
first pit stop and Adam wants to write his name and number in a bathroom. What he gets instead is almost puking after the woman using the bathroom before him clogs toilet he is trying to use. Karma.

Somewhere in the Arizona desert I convince Peanut we should stop using our cell phones for the day. He loves the idea and I blindly throw our phones over my shoulder and into the chaos that is the back of the mini van. 5 minutes later I can see his fingers tapping, his knees jittering, and he just doesn’t look good. He looks back at me and says “this was a bad idea”. I’m laughing and love watching him squirm. I’ve diagnosed Peanut with an addiction to his cell phone. It was maybe 6 hrs, (I just asked Peanut how long it was and he responded, “Ohhh god, too long, way too long for someone to function, worst idea ever“). As you can see he’s still bitter. When we got our phones back he went on a 3 hour binge of doing nothing but looking at his phone. His phone was smoking.

Pacific Coast Time

We head into a border patrol check before we head into California. Here’s how the conversation went,
“Where you coming from?”
“Connecticut”
“Do you have any fruits or vegetables?”
“(We pause, puzzled at this statement), Ahh yea, a banana”

So wait a second, they don’t care if we have drugs or weapons, just if we have any bananas. We pull out of the stop and then Peanut starts hysterically laughing, unannounced to me he had put the only banana we had in my bag, don’t ask me why. Actually I do know why, he said he put it in there because he thought I was allergic, WTF??? So if we were to get caught with this illegal banana, it would have been at my expense and I would have detained.

I fill up the mini van before he head into the desert, $3.80. The attendant says that nothing compared to what we will pay in L.A. We then figure out that it’ll be Adam’s turn to fill up in L.A. We joke that we are going to drive up and down Rodeo Drive until we run out of gas. He’s not laughing, it’s more funny like this.

Let me first start off this next section by saying the Mohave Desert is beautiful. We drove in this desolate wasteland for maybe 2 hours on interstate 95 South that was straight for as long as the eye could see and that also sat perfectly in the middle of a mountain range on our left and a mountain range on our right. Now that I’ve brought you there mentally, let me tell you what we did. I wanted to long board in the desert. So I got out a few times and carved a few turns here and there while the guys filmed in the breakdown lane hanging out the sliding door. That wasn’t enough for me. How could we make this more epic? I’d like to thank my mom for getting me a safety kit for the mini van with included flashlights, jumper cables, a blanket, first aid stuff, and last but not least…a tow rope. Wuahahaha. We pull over, attach the tow rope to the hitch on the mini, and off we go, trunk open and Peanut filming myself being dragged across the interstate in the middle of the Mohave Desert. Adam cruises up to 20mph and cruise controls it. I carve away. I board for 3.5 minutes carefree carving in and out of both lanes of the highway until having to stop because I loose feeling in my feet from the rough terrain. Long boarding on a desert highway, check.

CAL - I - FORN - I - A. The only place you can see palm trees and snow covered mountains in the same line of sight. The only place where you can see 10,000 + wind turbines. The only place you can grow marijuana after telling the doctor you have back pain or buy it legally at a “Pot Store” which happen to be right next to doctors offices. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because marijuana has been proven to be an effective reducer of pain and actually has never been linked to any forms of cancer or addiction, do your research folks. To each their own.

We arrive @ Baldwin’s place of work, in Carlsbad, CA at a Hilton Garden Inn right on the Pacific Coast. We walk the coast a bit, watch some surfers and laugh at their misfortunes. We watch the sunset from a lifeguard tower. Adam sleeps in the car and Peanut and I feel homeless/displaced for the first time as we hang out in the hotel lobby mooching internet service, expensive comfy couches, and free cookies. Did I mention we were supposed to wake up Adam after 15minutes of napping. We told him it had been 15mintues, but in reality it had been closer to 2hours, he was so groggy I don’t think he realized.

We crash on Baldwin’s floor. Did I mention he has a rope swing from the top of his house into his back yard? Oh coarse we used it. We try to watch our videos after doing this, Adam and I's video 30seconds long, Peanut's 3 minutes 30 seconds.

1st of three oil changes. Clapped out the air filter and straight dirt came out (from the dust storm).

We head to a locals only style beach and body surf some 5-8ft swells. I think we stood out as “non-locals” as soon as we took off our shirts to expose our pasty white torso’s. Everyone has mop hair, looks like they’ve been applying “juice” instead of sun block, and are all wearing stylish sunglasses.

Went to a place called “The Wave House” on the pacific ocean. Outdoor bar/restaurant/patio where you can pay to ride artificial waves. We were all cocky and gungho about this until we got there and saw what we would be dealing with, we had second thoughts until we realized there was a beginners wave on the other side of the patio. So how it works is water is thrown at you 30mph and it’s your task to try and stay upright on a board. It requires more leaning back then you would think and 100% of the time ends in a narly crash. Watching each other fall never got old, we “OHHHHHHed” every single time. I was feeling a little concust after leaving, almost similar to receiving a knockpunch square in the center of my forehead. This morning I feel like I was in a head on collision. I hate Motrin, but I want 1000mg.

After The Wave House we head into downtown San Diego to the Hard Rock Hotel rooftop terrace. Pretty baller up there. We also felt a little out of place. We had a beer, sat on the couches, positioned our faces into the sun, and silently wimpered about our crashes with the artificial wave.

We eat Sushi, about freaking time.

We head to stone brewery, and in the next stent of writing, you will be reading what Peanut thought:
“Stone Brewery, WOW, where do I begin. This place is so arrogant they don’t even have a sign on their building. It is located in northern San Diego on the outskirts of the city set back from everything. They don’t like to advertise their brewery because they just know it’s the best, reminds me of myself.
This place looks completely different from any other brewery I’ve ever seen. I am smiling from ear to ear looking like an Asian tourist, taking pictures of EVERYTHING! So we walk through the botanical gardens and end up at this monstrous foyer, its gorgeous, I wasn’t sure at first if we arrived at the gates of heaven or if this was still just the brewery. So we enter and the first thing I notice is a bar with 36 tap heads, all of which are unlabeled, wtf(confused a little, how does the bartender remember where each beer is located), oh well. I look behind the bar and there is this huge glass wall which looks into the actual brewery, where the beer is made, it is incredible, my dimples light right up.
So we all start off the night each with a different choice brew from Stone, most of their beers are like 8% or higher, which means Adam is gunna be hammered after 1 beer. We head outside to check out the gardens, it’s a perfect night, no bugs, we see plenty of stars, the moon, and are surrounded by trees, waterfalls, and the pleasant sound of frogs and crickets chirping. This is a very quaint setting, completely opposite of what I thought judging by their fierce gargoyle icon. So we stumble across 4 Adirondack chairs drink our beers and I make fun of Adam for being a fag, Neil for not knowing his beer, and Baldwin just because I don’t know him.
We have a few more rounds and Neil says to me did you check out the bathroom Peanut, “No, why?” (thinking to myself im not Adam, I don’t need to rate every bathroom we come across) Neil says “just go in and be very observant… and bring your camera”. So I check it out looking at everything, 7 urinals, 2 shitters, 3 sinks, 964 floor tiles, what is Neil getting at, it’s a bathroom, I wash my hands and im looking at the wall and there is barely stuck all over the walls, he thought it was cool, me, not so much, it looked more like mold.
We shut this bar down, as we did with all the others. Stone, Check.”
Things we’ve learned:
1. Peanuts says, “chicks are for fags, and he ain’t gay”. Wrap your mind around that statement.
2. Peanut resembles Joe Rogan, the guy who used to host Fear Factor (look it up).
3. Peanut likes beer, a lot. He’s your every day beer snob.
4. Baldwin is the man.
5. In Arizona instead of dogs inside of cars, they have goats. I thought about petting the goat until I noticed it had a pink dog collar on with the name “Nibblet”. Good thing I didn’t.


L.A. to check out Venice Beach and the touristy stuff, buy a couple long boards, and meet up with a childhood friend who was nice enough to let us crash at her place for the night.